Hasbro Introduces New Adult Toy: Writer's Blocks

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 11 April 2019

image for Hasbro Introduces New Adult Toy: Writer's Blocks
One variety of Hasbro's new Writer's Blocks suggests fun erotic activities that blocked creatives can do instead of writing.

Long known for producing children's toy favorites like G.I Joe and Mr. Potato Head, manufacturing giant Hasbro has branched into the adult toy sector with its new series of Writer's Blocks,, geared toward aspiring authors and other creative types who just can't bring themselves to put actual words to paper and seek to distract themselves by any means necessary.

"There are so many stifled creatives out there," said Vanessa Lovelace, head of Hasbro's new adult toy department. "Aspiring writers, blocked poets, those who've had works 'in progress' for decades will all enjoy playing with our writers' blocks - anything to keep them from thinking about trying to actually write."

According to Lovelace, Hasbro has taken special pains to put the "adult" into this particular adult toy line, by offering blocks in all kinds of suggestive and anatomically accurate shapes, making them suitable for everything from building toy castles to erotic stimulation.

"Writers, especially blocked writers, are notoriously bad at relationships," noted Lovelace. "Writer's Blocks can provide lonely writers a very handy - and enjoyable - distraction from the many empty and unfulfilling areas of their life. In other words, even if they're not having 'aha'! moments, they can at least have 'aaah!' moments."

The one thing that Writer's Blocks won't do, however, is unblock any blocked writers.

"We aim to help aspiring writers stay aspirational," said Lovelace. "Why write when you can play? That's our motto."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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