Written by King David

Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Server Farm Laborers Go On Strike; Say Integrity Compromised
A Server Farm Laborer Like This Woman Went On Strike Protesting Morally Compromising Work Environment

Workers at a North Carolina server farm went on strike today protesting a morally compromising work environment. They cited lewd and unconsecrated images and stories being held and disseminated by data banks inside the servers housed on the farm.

Some workers even reported burns caused by the licentious and corroding material that had dripped onto their skin.

The server farm, owned by Google, employs 666 workers and said that they were in the process of addressing worker's complaints and would have a public statement ready later in the week.

Google, the company that rescued the region's failed economy after traditional and puritan industries went south, was attracted to the area because of the abundance of water and power, two primary items needed for server farming and didn't foresee the moral integrity of it's future work force.

Workers, even though they held steady jobs and were paid well over $50,000 a year by the Fortune 500 company, earning twice that of the average annual salary in the county, were being shunned by their congregations as felonious and garish hypocrites who had forgotten who their true savior was. One worker was even told that he was going to hell because he saw pictures of Britney Spear's vagina.

"You know, we may as well have landed on the moon," said company spokesman, Jeff Bridges. "Usually we have people lining up at the door to work for us. Our name gives us instant recognition with the public. But these people have never heard of us. We always tell 'em that we are farmers just like them, except we grow information."

But he went on to say was it didn't make much difference what people thought anyway, that the farm pretty much ran itself. They just needed some extra help getting it up and running, putting the hardware into place.

What he didn't say was when all the extra workers would be laid off.

In other news today, linguists prove that the world and everyone's existence is symbolic.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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