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Funny satire stories about waste

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Funny story: Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists

Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists

Dunkin' Donuts, ridiculed for changing its name to Just Dunkin' in what many media analysts (whatever the hell they are) believe was a publicity ploy, is back in the limelight because of the behavior of one of its Syracuse, New Yawk, employees. A...

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Funny story: Forgotten Yogurt Mourned

Forgotten Yogurt Mourned

An unopened yogurt quietly expired last night after spending several days lodged between a shriveled tomato and a jar of mayonnaise in a Florida mans refrigerator. The yogurt, purchased in mid November, was survived by a can of diet coke and a blo...

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Funny story: Uneaten Yogurt Mourned

Uneaten Yogurt Mourned

An unopened yogurt quietly expired last night after spending several days lodged between a shriveled tomato and a jar of mayonnaise in a Florida mans refrigerator. The yogurt, purchased in mid November, was survived by a can of diet coke and a blo...

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Funny story: Crap Shortage Predictions Unfounded

Crap Shortage Predictions Unfounded

Washington DC: The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has been funding renewable energy electric power generation utilizing the burning of chicken, pig and cow/steer manure in several farming states. Chicken, pig, cow/steer and other livestock manur...

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Funny story: Charity Hate Campaigner Faces Trial Over Takeaway Waste

Charity Hate Campaigner Faces Trial Over Takeaway Waste

A Sussex man has told of his torture at the hands of a local charity organisation. Steve Dobbs, 37, was hounded out of his house and home by the hate campaign instigated by the Sussex 'Food For The Poor' charity. Dobbs had returned home from a...

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Funny story: H-Pee releases Pista driver for the the T45

H-Pee releases Pista driver for the the T45

Las Vegas, CA - H-Pee shocked the computer industry today by releasing a driver for its long neglected and very popular T45 printer-scanner-faxer-copier. H-Pee spokesman Mr. Jose Noeweigh addressed a large crowd of reporters today at 3 p.m. The ven...

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Funny story: Conservative Party Conference to Generate £27.4m for Manchester

Conservative Party Conference to Generate £27.4m for Manchester

It has been widely reported in the media (BBC, Telegraph, Manchester Evening News etc) that the current Conservative Party Conference will generate £27,000,000 for the local economy. A total of 13,000 delegates will each spend up to four days in t...

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Funny story: Celeb Chef Ideas Increasing UK Waste

Celeb Chef Ideas Increasing UK Waste

Endless series of TV chef programmes urging people to cook fresh meals from scratch may be contributing to Britain's 8.3 million-ton household food waste problem. Research suggests that as fresh food has a shorter shelf-life than processed ingred...

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Funny story: Green party plans to eliminate waste

Green party plans to eliminate waste

The Green party today revealed their plan for reducing food waste. Every year in the UK thousands of tonnes of food are thrown away, which the Greens say is a shocking waste (no pun intended). Under their scheme, people will be encouraged to use e...

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Funny story: Luckheed Martian in cyber attack

Luckheed Martian in cyber attack

WASHINGTON (Rooters) - Luckheed Martian Corp has been hit by a cyberspace attack, confidential sources said on Sunday. Sources said the Defense Department had offered to help gauge the scope of the "cyberspace attack." It became clear what kin...

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Funny story: Bermuda Triangle to take all the world's nuclear waste

Bermuda Triangle to take all the world's nuclear waste

The Bermuda Triangle, made famous by Barry Manilow, has finally discovered a use for it's ability to make things disappear: it will be used as a rubbish dump for the world's nuclear waste. However, some scientists think that this could store up troub...

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Funny story: Asian "E-waste mountains" will soon be higher than Everest: Climbers can't wait!

Asian "E-waste mountains" will soon be higher than Everest: Climbers can't wait!

Himalayan peak, Everest, is about to lose it's record of being the highest mountain in the world and Everest climbers are turning their attentions to the latest challenges, E-Mountains! Growing rapidly in India, China and other Asian countries the...

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Funny story: Efficiency drive deemed, inefficient

Efficiency drive deemed, inefficient

A department of transport efficiency drive has driven efficiency to an all time low, which some members in parliament are saying is more than likely inefficient. The transport efficiency drive cost taxpayers 81 million pounds when it was supposed...

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Funny story: Waste Not Want Not

Waste Not Want Not

It has been reported that water companies are considering charging for waste not just by volume as it is at the moment but by how solid the waste it since it takes more to break it down and is therefore more costly. Fluid can easily flow and is e...

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Funny story: Hazardous Waists

Hazardous Waists

Attractive waists have replaced toxic wastes as the biggest problem clean towns in America seem to face.

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Funny story: Awl Tyte

Awl Tyte

Awl Tyte was an embodiment of Nature's parsimony, i.e. storing extra glucose in tissues, causing obesity, rather than excreting it as waste material. It took him 40 years to save his meager income as a mint house worker to come up with a little fortune.

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Funny story: U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

U.S. Army denies elephant-size, flesh-eating plankton linked to toxic dump in ocean

After a series of grizzly attacks of swimmers along America's East Coast beaches by mammoth, flesh-hungry plankton, the Army issued a statement today denying that the mutant sea creatures were linked to the dumping of 64 million pounds of nerve a...

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