Part-time Male Library Assistant Kidnapped By Wealthy Voluptuous Woman

Written by Wesley Janson

Friday, 11 January 2019

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Platteville, Wisconsin. Todd Wilkinson, 27, was kidnapped by a wealthy-looking, voluptuous female last Tuesday around 3:20 pm.

Todd, a part-time assistant at Karmen Library, had been sitting at the front desk helping community members check out books when the gorgeous woman suddenly pulled him out of the building by his ankles.

Witnesses reported hearing him scream the words, "No! Please leave me alone! I just want to work in a library" as he desperately clawed at the carpet on the floor trying to get away from the beautiful female with exposed cleavage, tight steamy thighs, and stunning red hair.

After gathering evidence and questioning locals, police and investigators suspect that the kidnapper is actually a fashion model in her early 30s, and that she had been intermittently stalking Todd for a period of 7 to 12 months.

"She probably found herself hopelessly attracted to Todd's lack of assertiveness, his thick reading glasses, his frail body, the mole on his face, his extreme nervousness, and the impressive educational background that he achieved at a nearby community college," Officer Dale Moore told reporters. "He is most likely in a mansion somewhere in Florida or the West Coast being forced to drink expensive wine and make love to her for hours upon hours," he added.

"Because this young man was born and raised in the Midwest, and hasn't been anywhere else, he's used to cold weather, expired beer, and watching sports," Detective Mike Fuller said, during an interview. "Wherever he is right now, I'm sure he's overwhelmed and terrified."

Jane Wilkinson, Todd's mother, expressed anger and shock that nobody even bothered to help her son as he was being abducted.

"I can't believe people just stood there while this was happening," she stated. "My son had dreams and goals! He wanted to be a full-time library assistant someday," she sobbed.

Brad Wilkinson, Todd's father, was unavailable for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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