Angry, Overwhelmed Teacher In Mental Ward For 'Beating The Shit' Out Of Everybody During Parent-Teacher Conferences

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 5 January 2019

image for Angry, Overwhelmed Teacher In Mental Ward For 'Beating The Shit' Out Of Everybody During Parent-Teacher Conferences

Dane County, Wisconsin. Lane Krajewski, a 49-year-old science teacher at St. Mary's High School, is currently in a mental ward for 'flipping out' and 'beating the shit' out of numerous people during an emergency parent-teacher conference that was held on Wednesday, December 19th.

The conference was apparently held early because parents were angry that their children couldn't play sports due to failing grades.
After two hours of listening to parents complain about the issue, Mr. Krajewski finally blew a fuse and became so psychotically angry that he tore through the entire building like a violent hurricane of rage.

"YOUR CHILD IS FAILING BECAUSE HE IS SPOILED AND HAS NO ATTENTION SPAN," Mr. Krajewski growled at Mr. Phillips, a local businessman whose son likes baseball, before picking him up and hurling him across the room.

Mr. Krajewski then glared at Mrs. Phillips and called her a 'materialistic, valueless bitch.'

Like a demonically-possessed Behemoth from Hell, Mr. Krajewski tore down the hallway and started throwing students around in a cyclone of unstoppable fury.

"I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL FOR 7 YEARS TO EARN A MASTER'S DEGREE IN SCIENCE ONLY TO BE NAGGED AT," he screamed at the top of his lungs before grabbing Mr. and Mrs. Brinkley, two parents who had previously yelled at him because their spoiled daughter couldn't play volleyball after failing his class.

After impaling both of them on a metal shard from a broken locker door, the furious Mr. Krajewski continued into the administration office.

When lead principal, Dwayne Christianson, nagged at him because his curriculum plans didn't fit DPI standards, Mr. Krajewski punched him in the face, smashed his head into his own desk, drug him up to the top floor of the school's newly built gymnasium, and threw him off.

Police cars arrived immediately after Mr. Christianson's body landed on top of a parked, 1999 Buick Skylark.

"The man is clearly insane," psychologist Sherry Harper told reporters. "His horrible and inexcusable actions indicate that our culture is upside-down, that our education system sucks, that we have no values, and that all we care about is sports."

Recent UW-La Crosse college graduate and physical education major, Jane Wilkinson, will be replacing Mr. Krajewski later this Spring.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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