OK Not OK With LGBT, Single Parents; Makes Entire Nation Look Bad

Written by Xavier Fairbanks

Friday, 4 January 2019

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In a 60-26 vote, the state of Oklahoma's legislative body passed the Adoption Protection Act, an act that makes it legal for adoption agencies to refuse to work with LGBT, single people, and those whose lives contradict an agency's strictly-held religious beliefs. While the majority of not just Oklahoma, but the nation, have decried this as blatant discrimination, misuse of the first amendment, and harmful to children in need of a loving home, some are celebrating the ruling.

"When I married my brother, we thought for sure we were going to get turned away from adoption. With all those queers in line, we could barely find a spot. But now we have hope that together we can raise a normal family. We already constructed three more cages in the basement!" said Mary Lou Bimbob.

"I think it's just wonderful. My life is much more important than those queers, and certainly more than those kids. And single people? Single people are the devil. That's just how it is. There's a reason those kids are in need of adoption; their sinful parents tainted their souls. Why would we throw them into more sinful ways?" said Pastor Dave Dumbiss

When reporters confronted these individuals with the very text of their own "strictly-held religious beliefs", and pointed out all the inconsistencies, contradictions, their actual origins, and how they were violating their own beliefs in everyday life, the individuals spontaneously combusted (See Obituaries on page 7A).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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