Iowa. Robert Downer, 38, and Melissa Crow, 39, finally decided to get together and make love on the bathroom floor of Melissa's apartment last Tuesday.
Robert Downer, who has a massive hydrocele in his left testicle and a face that looks like it has been run over several times by a truck, finally made the brave decision to fuck Melissa Crow, who has no personality whatsoever and who likes to stare at flowers all day long while hallucinating.
"Neither of us were really going anywhere in life, so we just decided to fuck," Robert told news reporters.
"I tried to ignore the fact that Robert has a hygiene problem and that he smells like a boy's locker room after a lost football game," Melissa stated. "Flowers are pretty," she further added.
After giving up on all their hopes and dreams and slamming each other pretty hard on the bathroom floor, Robert then lost complete control of himself, grabbed Melissa, and gave it to her a second time up against the refrigerator.
"He really rocked my world," Melissa told lead reporter, Mike Temples. "Where am I?" she further asked.
"She has multiple personality disorders, 5 children, and she often talks to invisible people," Robert stated. "But that didn't stop me from throwing my big, giant penis into her," he proudly confessed.
Robert and Melissa plan on getting married next month, raising 2 children, and sending them to a public school that will most likely have teaching positions available in the future.