Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 28 March 2018

image for Chris Stapleton Tries Hand at City Music
Don't let their feigned apathy fool you - urban hipsters eagerly anticipate the release of Stapleton's new city music album.

Blockbuster country music artist Chris Stapleton, ever the innovator, announced that because the rising popularity of country music has made it too easy for him to sell records, his next album will be entirely devoted to the new Stapleton-conceived genre soon to be known as “city music.”

“I like the country a lot,” explained the easygoing Stapleton. “But cities – like Nashville, for instance - are cool, too. And there's real music happening there. Why shouldn't they have their own genre?”

Stapleton says that the city music album came fairly easily to him. “Not naturally, exactly, since that would be a little anti-city,” he quipped. “But the songwriting process was pretty smooth. Almost as smooth as Tennessee whiskey – no, no, more like a freshly paved highway, I'd say.”

Instead of songs about pickup trucks, farms, hard times, and beer, Stapleton's new album will feature songs about Hummers, high-rises, cushy office jobs, and martinis. “The shift took some getting used to,” Stapleton acknowledged. “But I enjoy mixing things up. You know, like fancy cocktails.”

And FYI, the only smoking of “stems” on Stapleton's upcoming album of urban tunes involves the assistance of a cannabis vaporizer.

Stapleton stated that he's not overly concerned about the commercial success of the new record; he's more interested in breaking new musical ground – like real estate development in Nashville.

And after the city music record, what's next for Chris Stapleton?

“I think next is another new genre - greengrass music, maybe?” mused Stapleton. “Or grass-is-greener music – why not?”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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