Written by Bala Thenappan

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

image for Man Convinced Traffic Lights Are Rigged

Determined to explain why he showed up late to work again, Larry Michaels, a department manager at Sears, convinced himself last Tuesday that traffic lights are rigged against him.

"I feel like the traffic lights are conspiring to slow me down. I wake up 10 to 15 minutes after my alarm sounds, take a 20 minute shower, stop by a couple stores to buy a donut, and then proceed to get stuck at every single red light.There's nothing I can do differently to show up to work on time." said Michaels.

Larry Michaels reports further evidence to support his theory. He explained ""It's weird because I feel like I only get stuck at red lights when I'm running late. So there's an obvious correlation."

Michaels was fired the day after he explained this theory to his boss.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Local, traffic




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