After experiencing his first week as President, Trump has expressed frustration and disappointment at some of the limitations on his power.
"I thought being President was like being boss of the world, but it doesn't seem to always work that way." Trump lamented.
After a great deal of resistance and blowback against some of his policies and ideas, the newly minted leader of the free world expressed disbelief towards some of the checks and balances that are in place to prevent the President from acting like a complete tyrant.
"I was really looking forward to saying "you're fired" to every democrat in Washington, but it turns out I'm not allowed to do that" he pouted. "I can't even force people to be hired by me" Trump exclaimed, likely referring to the number of government staff workers that refused offers to stay on from the previous administration.
He also expressed disappointment when he was told he did not have the power on his own to rename California Pussy Galore, or force all female White House staff to wear bikinis.
He was angered when he found out he couldn't rename the White House the Taj Mahal. "Some place else already has that name apparently, and won't give up the naming rights" Trump fumed in exasperation. He did state that he might be able to purchase the name, Trump's Taj Mahal from himself, but only if the government offered him "suitable compensation".
He did find some consolation when he discovered that he could make the White House groundskeeping staff cut all the bushes into the shape of his head. He was particularly delighted when he found out that he could indeed fire any caretaker that wasn't up to the bush sculpting task.
Trump also showed some concerns over how difficult it is to force other countries to go against their own self interest just to please him. "Maybe we can just annex the rest of North America" he pondered on twitter. He seemed dissatisfied when the Secretary of State explained the difficult logistics of such an act.
The President seemed content to redirect his energy toward more domestic domination. "If I could fire everyone in this swamp I would," Trump stated triumphantly. "I guess in the meantime I'll just have to settle for accomplishing all my campaign promises within the week."
When President Trump was informed that half of his promises were unconstitutional, and highly illegal, all he could muster as a response was, "DOH!"