Written by Andrewnino12

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

The Electoral College came together again on Monday to honor the age-old tradition of pissing off approximately 50% of the population.

Similar methods of cultural division have been tried out over the years such as the Twilight Book Series and the Black and Blue vs. the White and Gold dress but they could never quite produce the same results. This election was particularly heated as it featured two of the most disliked candidates in the history of our young, budding nation.

On one hand you had a millionaire with close ties to suspicious foreign nations that's flip-flopped on almost every single issue, and on the other hand you had Donald Trump. Despite losing the popular vote by roughly 3 million votes, all from people who were concerned 3rd-party voters were wasting their vote, the latter won and will soon go on to be inaugurated into the Oval Office on January the 20th (I just realized that's only a month away and I threw up in my mouth a bit.)

No matter who Russia made you vote for, or if you didn't vote at all, I think its safe to say that we all could've done better than Trump or Hillary.

Nearly 7 billion dollars were spent on this year's election, which raises the question: Isn't there a cheaper a way to get 15,000 people to vote for a dead gorilla?

As 2016 comes to a close it might help us to remember the more positive moments from this year, we still have those right?

I just did some Googling and apparently we just started outsourcing all our joy and happiness manufacturing to China. Maybe that Trump guy was onto something...‚Äč

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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