Trump Challenges Hamilton Cast to a Duel

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Sunday, 20 November 2016

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King George to Root for Hamilton

Weehawken, NJ - Donald Trump has challenged cast members of the Broadway hit "Hamilton" to a duel after the cast openly embarrassed Trump's Vice President, Mike Pence, at the end of a performance Pence attended. The audience roundly booed Pence as he entered the theater. After the show, the actor who plays Aaron Burr made a statement addressed to the audience and Pence that the cast is "alarmed and anxious" about the new Trump administration.

By Twitter, Trump demanded an "apology", but the cast refused, stating "Conversation is not harassment, sir."

And now Trump, with his famously thin skin, has challenged Lin-Manuel Miranda, the creator of Hamilton who apparently orchestrated the public rebuke, to a duel.

"Time for a little duel in NJ!" tweeted Trump.

To show support, Pence squeamishly agreed to duel Aaron Burr as well, but expressed private fears of being harmed by an openly gay man, or at least an actor who plays Aaron Burr who could be openly gay.

Pence is known for his views against the LGBT community and for being an avid supporter of the "gay cure" known as conversion therapy.

"I'm afraid of the gays. And I've never even touched a sword, except my own," stated Pence privately, unclear as to why he was even talking about swords instead of guns.

Miranda laughed off the challenge, tweeting, "Loving all this free publicity, taken straight from Trump's playbook. Mixtape for Xmas anyone?"

Yet Trump would not agree to be brushed off so easily and set the date, time and place for January 19, 2017, the day before his Inauguration, at 7 a.m.

The entire cast has agreed to show up in Weehawken, NJ that day to sing songs of solidarity. They doubt that Trump or Pence will actually show up.

Nonetheless, one cast member noted, "I am not throwing away my shot."

Billy Bush, currently out of work, will emcee the event and announce the ground rules for the duel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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