Poll: "Most Americans Would Rather Eat Poisoned Skittles Than Trump Flavored Candy Corn."

Funny story written by Andrewnino12

Sunday, 25 September 2016

"If I had a bowl of Skittles and I told you just three would kill you. Would you take a handful? That's our Syrian refugee problem."

Donald Trump's son Donald Trump Jr. (not to be confused with the mint) tweeted out an image with this controversial metaphor on it earlier this week. The son of the so-called billionaire, (still waiting on those tax returns) faced immediate backlash on Twitter from those more hesitant to judge the sugary, toxic sweets.

"I've never had refugee Skittles before, but they can't be worse than the redneck ones," one respondent said.

This isn't the first time the Trump family has compared immigrants to glucose-infused death. Last month Donald Trump Sr. compared illegal Hispanics to the banned Kinder Surprise eggs from Italy.

"They may look nice on the outside but you never what you're going to get on the inside. Sometimes it's a bouncing ball, and sometimes it's a drug dealing rapist. It's a toss-up really. I'd rather stick with something safe like plain, white Necco Wafers. Kids love them."

All this rhetoric surrounding candy confections has led to comparisons of Trump to the unpopular, yet impossible to get rid of, Candy Corn.

"It tastes terrible but the old folks across the street still try to force it down my throat every year in October. And why are they so orange? That can't be healthy."

Senator Bernie Sanders also weighed in on the subject, expressing his disdain for such overly unhealthy sweets.

"We can't let our country be overrun by these artery-clogging sugar nightmares, which is why I'm endorsing Vanilla Tootsie Rolls. I know they're not quite as good as the regular Tootsie Rolls you're used to, but if you close your eyes you can hardly tell the difference!"

‚ÄčTo which young voters responded: "Yeah... I think I'm just going to stay home this year."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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