Trump Swindles Eight-Year-Olds!

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 8 September 2016

image for Trump Swindles Eight-Year-Olds!

Ameri-tude…USA! American pride…USA! It's attitude, its who we are, Stand up tall….We're the red, white, and blue…..Fiercely free, that's who!......Our colors don't run, no siree…Over here…..USA!......Over there…..USA!...Freedom and liberty everywhere….USA!........Enemies of freedom….Face the music…….Come on, boys-take 'em down!......President Donald Trump knows how……To make America great……Deal from strength or get crushed every time….USA!

If you saw a Trump rally where this was sung by 3 little eight-year-old girls known as "The USA Freedom Kids," you understand the bouncy, red, white and blue attired children were a big hit. The song, "I've Written A Letter To Daddy Trump," was sung to the W.W.I ditty, "Over There." The routine, which involved the girls spinning in gaudy American-flag dresses and singing some songs that accused the other presidential candidates of treason, was roundly mocked on social media, where viewers likened the video to performances honoring North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

But Daddy Trump turned out to be Deadbeat Daddy. He wouldn't pay the little girls but told them they could sell merchandise in the parking lot. However, when they arrived in the lot, Deadbeat Donald's huge security goons told them to get lost. Meanwhile, all the merchandise had been stolen from the Freedom Kids' superpatriot manager dad's car in that parking lot.

Perhaps the goons were taking a cigarette break or looking for some Mexicans to beat up.

The Donald, to make up for the mishap said the girls could perform at his next rally in Iowa but that he wouldn't pay for the airfare. They arrived in Iowa, but Donald, like the goons, said get lost to the eight-year-olds.

The girls and their stage moms and dads had visions of big bucks if only their girls could get some time on TV from Trump rally coverage. Maybe they could go on to stardom on America's Got Talent. Word is that they no longer plan to vote for Trump

So, superpatriot dad sued Trump for $15,000 for the merchandise, the lost opportunity to sell the merchandise, and the overnight plane tickets. Trump has a long history of not paying people, but to his devoted supporters stiffing eight-year-olds doesn't bother these frenzied, creepy disciples.

Meanwhile the girls are available to readers who might want them to sing patriotic songs that will "melt your heart." But try not let their merchandise, which is made in sweatshops in China and Vietnam, be stolen in your parking area.

Whether superpatriot dad will share the profits from the goods with the other stage moms and dads isn't clear. And what else isn't clear is, because he writes all of the nationalistic lyrics for the Freedom Kids, why hasn't he turned his talents into writing lyrics for a possible song, "Deadbeat Donald."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more