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Funny satire stories about Tom Cruise

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Funny story: Seagal Can’t Fly on the Cruise

Seagal Can’t Fly on the Cruise

Tom Cruise has already signed a deal for the next Mission Impossible movie. Tom is gonna join forces in Ukraine and single-handedly take Russia down. Steven Seagal, Putin’s personal Hollywood bitch, doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like that Cruise i…

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Starts Summer Acting School for Young Male 'Hotshot' Actors

Tom Cruise Starts Summer Acting School for Young Male 'Hotshot' Actors

Tom Cruise, still youthful looking - (and who knows how?) - is feeling his age a little, so has started a summer acting school in Hollywood for young actors. Cruise gave his first lecture to about 20 young macho, good looking actors. You guys…

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Funny story: A List of Ten Trivia Facts Regarding Tom Cruise's Latest Hit Movie, "Top Gun: Maverick"

A List of Ten Trivia Facts Regarding Tom Cruise's Latest Hit Movie, "Top Gun: Maverick"

ONE OF TOM CRUISE'S HOBBIES IS COLLECTING TRIVIA FACTS. HERE ARE TEN THAT HE PROVIDED TO THE ALPHA BETA NEWS AGENCY FROM HIS LATEST HIT MOVIE, "TOP GUN - MAVERICK." 1. Tom Cruise was not the producers first choice to star as Maverick. Brad Pitt wa…

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Has Already Signed To Star In The Third Installment of The Top Gun Film Franchise To Be Called, “Top Gun – The Geriatric Years”

Tom Cruise Has Already Signed To Star In The Third Installment of The Top Gun Film Franchise To Be Called, “Top Gun – The Geriatric Years”

HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Tom Cruise is one of the richest actors in all of Tinsel Town. One Hollywood agent stated that Tom has the Midas Touch, as anything that he touches turns to pure certified, unadulterated gold. The film agent revealed…

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Funny story: Tom Cruise To Play Slim “Maverick” Everdingle In Top Gun 2

Tom Cruise To Play Slim “Maverick” Everdingle In Top Gun 2

BILLINGSGATE POST: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! In the aftermath of the attack yesterday in which Navy Top Gun pilot, Slim “Maverick” Everdingle, scored 5 kills on Iranian camels, Tom Cruise announced that he would play the role of Lieutenant Everdingle in...

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Funny story: Easier For Terrorists To Board Planes Than Walk Into United States

Easier For Terrorists To Board Planes Than Walk Into United States

Taxpayers are all asking: Why is Trump making it easier for terrorists to board a plane than to walk into the United States? Inquiring minds need to know. Inquiring is sometimes spelled with an 'e' thanks to Trump pal, David Pecker. If terrorists,...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise says Law and Business need to be taught to kids in school

Tom Cruise says Law and Business need to be taught to kids in school

CNB NEWS: "Law, and business should be taught to K-12 students," says Tom Cruise. As a parent, actor, and visionary, Cruise is beside himself with delight while thinking about the prospects of going into K-12 schools and witnessesing teachers teac...

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Funny story: Jack Reach Around is Third Movie in Reacher Series

Jack Reach Around is Third Movie in Reacher Series

Jack Reacher returns to the screen in the third movie adaptation of a Lee Child novel. Leading man, Tom Cruise, takes us on a scary ride in this much darker and grittier follow up to the popular series. !Spoiler Alert! This time, in Jack Reach...

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Funny story: Pitt and Jolie to Become ABC's First Celebrity Bachelor/Bachelorette

Pitt and Jolie to Become ABC's First Celebrity Bachelor/Bachelorette

Hollywood, CA - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have agreed to become the first "celebrity" bachelor and bachelorette on the aging television series of the same name, which will feature only divorced celebrities vying to fall in love with the famous cou...

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Funny story: Celebs ticked at Porn Knock-Offs

Celebs ticked at Porn Knock-Offs

Two, to be exact: Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington. Tom Cruise, out promoting his latest "Jack Reacher" fare on the Ricki Lake show, grew furious when he found out there's a new nudie flick called "Jack Reach-around-er", which caters to Gay men.

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Funny story: First Charisma Awards Competition

First Charisma Awards Competition

Hiram Grabbit of Los Angeles PR firm, LUXIFER INC., has set up what could be a global, national contest to rival Miss World and The Oscars. Luxifer has, in the past, worked closely with Scratchi and Scratchi of London in the business of cultivat...

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Funny story: USA Hijacked By NRA

USA Hijacked By NRA

The United States' been hijacked by the National Rifle Association. Not as dramatic as the Orson Welles radio broadcast, War of the Worlds, but it's pretty much a done deal. The NRA managed the hijack by making campaign contributions to Republican me...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise Tells North Dakota High School Class "You Can Do It!"

Tom Cruise Tells North Dakota High School Class "You Can Do It!"

Shit City, North Dakota - Celebrity Tom Cruise likes to give back. Having given millions of dollars to homeless men and women throughout Canada and New Zealand, the actor says he now wishes to "deign to condescend to backwoods hicks" and has schedul...

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Funny story: Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to Star Again

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise to Star Again

The film soon to be released "Blood on a White Rose" is already being forecast to clean up at next year's Oscars. It is a drama with class and style. One critic said, "If it were a painting it would be a Raphael." The film teams up, for one more...

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Funny story: Uh-Oh. Another Hollywood Open Secret Bites The Uhhhh......Dust

Uh-Oh. Another Hollywood Open Secret Bites The Uhhhh......Dust

LOS ANGELES - Due no doubt to the ongoing public domained enquiring mind-wise fascination surrounding anything to do with however it was (if only just because) recently defamed (and rightly so) high end comedy legend Bill Cosby apparently had to...

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Funny story: Russian Jets Enter Ukraine Airspace, Top Gun's Maverick Dispatched to Region

Russian Jets Enter Ukraine Airspace, Top Gun's Maverick Dispatched to Region

Washington, D.C. - As tensions continue to escalate between Russia and Ukraine, Russian President Putin has ordered his fighter jet pilots to flirt with crossing into Ukrainian airspace to tempt a response from the smaller country. In respons...

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Funny story: 'A Zimmer frame sequel?' Kelly McGillis demands amid reports Tom Cruise will star in Top Gun 2

'A Zimmer frame sequel?' Kelly McGillis demands amid reports Tom Cruise will star in Top Gun 2

New York - "Sure I've turned down the role of Charlie Blackwood," Ms McGillis told New York Toast reporters today, "still recovering from a dose of intimate hives after Cruise's last clinch 30 years ago." The 1986 box orifice smash-hit raked in a...

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