Texas Secessionists Emboldoned By Brexit Seek "Texit"

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 24 June 2016

image for Texas Secessionists Emboldoned By Brexit Seek "Texit"
Ted Nugent is excited about Texit, or Texas's secession from the United States.

Texans who want to secede from the US are now pointing to the historic Brexit vote to say their plan is plausible.

Daniel Miller, president of the Texas Nationalist Movement was excited about the new enthusiasm for Texas to secede from the union.

"People thought Texit was a far out idea, but now that Great Britain voted to leave the EU it seems doable."

Secessionist are anxious to be freed from federal laws that they say are unconstitutional and anti-business as well. Ted Nugent circulated a draft of the laws to be changed or abolished in the Republic of Texas after "Texit" (#texit). Here are some highlights:

  • People who hold a sincere religious belief can refuse services to "those who's practices or ethnicity are against those beliefs," i.e. discrimination.
  • Businesses will be allowed to monitor their resource use and emissions on an "honor" system so as not to impede commerce. Regulations will only be passed if "a preponderance of public opinion thinks it's necessary. The Republic will not be overly reliant on so called 'experts' who only want to hurt businesses."
  • The so called "Trump Law" will punish both the women seeking abortions and the illegal providers.
  • "No gun laws shall be passed in the Republic of Texas."
  • Auto emissions will not be regulated and anti-pollution devices can be defeated or uninstalled on diesel pickups so people can "burn coal." Hybrid and fuel efficient vehicles and their "stupid elitist owners" can be run off the road "even if they don't have any annoying bumper stickers."


Texas state authorities and militia groups are already preparing for an invasion from the US if they succeed in leaving the union. This has caused a confusing situation for US Armed forces stationed in Texas. Addressing the confusion, a pentagon official said there is no change in status for military personnel now stationed in Texas.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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