Written by Tom Sivvy

Thursday, 19 May 2016

image for The Americans to Deploy Their Chuck Norris Against ISIS
Chuck Norris' biggest fan and self-proclaimed future lover, Ronald Reagen

ISIS have been seen as a threat to the Texas, sorry, American spirit for years, and today was the day that President Obama green-lit project Norris, which has been under development since Walker, Texas Ranger.

An anonymous source in ISIS tells us that they have never felt this scared.

Sure, when the Americans deployed their Kal-El, they were scared, but they all knew Doomsday would kill him in Batman v Superman, meaning he was unavailable.

But Chuck Norris, he's a different story, sources tell us. Roy Mcoy, a scientist at the totally real institute NOSO, tells us that '...once, a snake bit Chuck Norris, and after five days of excruciating pain, it died.'

More on this story as it develops.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chuck Norris

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