Written by mikewadestr

Thursday, 12 May 2016

image for Clothes Bureau Messes with Neat Freak
Go ahead and put your clothes in, I'll rearrange them anyway

Neat freak Sandy McOrderly's clothes dresser had it with Sandy's consummate tidiness. Sandy's penchant for keeping all his clothes smartly tucked away in the various dresser drawers. His underwear perfectly folded in the top drawer. His socks tightly rolled into each other in his middle drawer and his shirts immaculately pressed in his bottom drawer. What annoyed the dresser the most is Sandy's lack of pants. Sandy didn't own any pants so he never wore any because he was afraid of getting them all wrinkled.

The ornery dresser decided it was time to start messing around with McOrdery's head.

On the first morning after his proclamation, the dresser switched the underwear and sock drawers to get a bearing on what McOrderly would do. When McOrderly discovered the extraordinary happenstance he gave a puzzled look and said:

"Very odd, very odd indeed. I must have not been myself yesterday. So forth back into your proper places my lovely's".

On the second morning the dresser went and took apart all of the sock rolls putting half of them into the top drawer with the underwear and the rest into the bottom drawer with the shirts. Upon discovering this McOrderly meekly lamented:

"Now how is this so, this makes no sense, my clairvoyance must be off for something like this to have happened. Hmmmmm!"

The next morning the dresser simply took all of his shirts and stuffed them into the coat closet. With this discovery McOrderly spent an hour looking throughout his apartment for his shirts and when he finally found them in the closet he screamed:

"Am I truly losing control? I bet it's that jealous facetious Karen who is behind all of this, yes. Hmmmmm! Hmmmm!"

On the fourth day of McOrderly's ordeal the bureau conspired with the clothes hamper to both spit all of Sandy's clothes onto the floor, unfolded of course. When this debacle was discovered McOrderly merely shook violently saying:

"Hmmmmm! Hmmmmm! Hmmmmm!" Over and over again.

As of press time, McOrderly was sitting on the edge of his bead with a loaded 357 magnum in his hand and pushed against his head mumbling:

"Uncontrollable paradigms", over and over again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more