California EPA Endorses Beer Pee

Funny story written by The Ruling Authority

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Due to the ongoing water crisis in California, CalEPA has taken an unusual step in promoting the recycling of beer pee. They claim that the liquid may be classified as potable if certain conditions are met.

They note that by the time three or more twelve-ounce bottles are consumed and subsequently eliminated through the bladder, further consumption will result in a product that is virtually odorless and colorless and thus may be safely reconsumed.

As another bonus, the original bottles may be re-used as containers for the liquid. (Women are being advised to use a funnel and a mirror to guage the height of liquid in the bottle.)

It is suggested that IPAs be generally avoided as that may retain a certain 'hoppiness' in the product. The cheaper lagers will produce the clearest and least foamy liquid.

Health conscious individuals are being told that beer pee is actually largely bacteria-free, providing that the producer has taken steps to ensure personal hygiene. And squeamish individuals may opt to use the product in soups and stews until they become acclimated to its direct usage as hydration.

CAL EPA asks all people of the state to do what they can to conserve water.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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