California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

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Philippines spilt beaver syndrome behind the pandemic

Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort.

Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other contenders blameable for spreading the pathogen.

This week California hospitals remain on high alert following the December 2014 outbreak when brainwashed local adults' decision not to vaccinate their offspring received a boost from the Creationist Party.

A statement issued by the World Health Disorganizations late today confirmed that of the 30 Californians who had been genotyped all were weasels genotype B3 - for fucks sake!

And that this was rooted in a massive recent eruption in the Philippines.

"We sourced the start of the bugs to Disneyland Anaheim in Southern California," viral epidemiologist Dr Einstein Flintstone said this afternoon.

"It's a place that received billion of toxic pathogens every day with the influx of foreign visitors, many of them from overseas."

A simple 3-jab course of intravenous immunizants from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention starts at around fifty bucks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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