"Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future

Funny story written by Don Grapper

Sunday, 3 May 2015

image for "Exhausted" Manu Ginobili Returning To Nazi War Criminal Compound In Argentina To Contemplate Basketball Future
Manu Ginobili Tells Reporters He Was Always Too Busy Practicing His Jump Shot To Ever Learn About The Holocaust

Los Angeles, CA - A subdued Manu Ginobli has a lot to think about following the San Antonio Spurs heartbreaking game 7 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers in a hard fought first round series that many think featured championship caliber play. Ginobli says all his years of basketball have taken a physical toll and he may have no more left to give.

"It may be time that I return to the Mengele compound in Argentina, where I can be with my family, and our butler descendants of Nazi war criminals and give retirement some serious thought," he said.

Known for his often erratic play, Ginobili fears he may not have the legs to continue.

"I am growing weak," he said. "It may be time to return to my homeland and permanently convalesce."

Ginobli, an Argentinian of Italian descent, comes from a family that aided Nazi war criminals seeking refuge after they escaped Germany and allied criminal prosecution following World War II.

"My grandfather had an estate and we let them live there as servants and in exchange they gave us all the loot they stole from Jews and gentiles all over occupied Europe," Ginobili said.

Ginobili said Argentina was home, and being around his grandchildren of Nazi War Criminal servants gave him "room to breathe, free from the pressure of being a big time sports celebrity in America."

Ginobili gave as but one example a line of Los Angeles girls outside the locker room offering to give him consolation blowjobs and snort cocaine off his dick shaft.

"That would never happen in Argentina, where I am seen as a simple multi-million dollar, playboy, Nazi sympathizer," he said.

Ginobili laughed off the idea that he was a playboy, saying he spent most of his idle time alone or with his sister's dobermans.

He denied being a Nazi sympathizer, saying he knows little to nothing about World War II, the grandparents of his retinue of estate servants, and has heard only vague, disapproving murmurings from the occasional diplomatic dinner guest about what those grandparents did during the war.

"I never studied history," he said. "I come from an obscenely rich family and wanted only to play basketball and figured if that didn't work out, I would just live off their g-zillions."

Asked why the grandchildren of Nazi War Criminals continue living on his compound, Ginobili explained that neither they, nor their parents or grandparents, were ever permitted to leave and were subject to brainwashing from tutors, who told them just outside the gates were people from the Simon Wiesenthal Detective Agency waiting to gun them down.

Ginobili says his servants "know nothing of the outside world" and though his pale, slow moving and laconic servants are a little "ghoulish," they nonetheless keep the bed linens crisp and fresh and deliver "as promptly as any one could ever hope" his pool side snacks and beverages.

"It's a little cultish of us, but still, it keeps are servant costs down to minimal room and board expenses," Ginobili said.

According to Ginobili, most of his servants believe the war is still going on.

Told that the Nazis were responsible for the cold blooded murder of at least six and a half million Jews, Ginobili said that was "not cool" and promised he would give his servant staff "a good talking to about what their grandparents did and make them promise to never do it again."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more