Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke

Funny story written by HottywoodHelps

Friday, 20 February 2015

image for Two Arrested After Jousting Match with Frozen Cigarette Smoke
Frozen cigarette smoke easily doubles as jousting lances

Two people are facing charges following a fight that broke out Thursday evening at a Maryland metro station bus stop.

Maryland State Police said the fight started around 5:15 p.m. between the Suitland metro station and the Come & Get It Liquor House on Silver Hill Road.

Police were called to the scene when two men, Sanchez Donino Marlo Estifan Elsavador Mario Plazza, Jr. and Billy Bob Norris, got into a physical scuffle, or sword fight as some witnesses described the altercation, when the smoke from their cigarettes had frozen due to the evening's bitter cold temperatures and collided when a strong gust of wind knocked one man off his balance, lunging him into the other.

Once the two men bumped, their ice-covered cigarette smoke shattered, much like jousting horseman wielding superhuman yet non indestructible glass lances, chipping the cigarettes and the fingers of each man holding them. That, sources say, is when all hell broke loose.

Maryland police sent out a smoke signal shortly after they were called, advising all passersby to stop at the nearby Liquor House to get a bag of popcorn so they can witness the battle until the first available officer nearest the commotion finished wolfing down his donut before pressing his way to the unruly scene.

Unfortunately the smoke signal froze upon first contact of the open air and came crashing down from the sky until it hit the brawlers and spectators on the head, knocking almost everyone in the vicinity unconscious, as well as the cops and criminals perusing the exterior of the police station after the signal was sent.

Southern Maryland Hospital is now full of concussion patients who are all being treated for minor injuries, except for Plazza and Norris who are both getting wooden forefinger replacements to substitute the fingers they broke during their fight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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