Jim Inhofe, chair of the environment and energy committee, has released findings from his own research that fossil fuels and CO2 are a natural elixir for the human spirit.
Jim explained: "When I do barbecue at my ranch in Oklahoma and I eat that crispy charcoal laden food - steaks and chops and sausages you know and get a strong whiff of all that CO2 comin' off my grill - Well, I get an urge to throw Kay (his wife) over my shoulder and set out to the barn and plow her like a Georgia Mule the way I used to way back then!"
He was asked if he thought that was a science based analysis and he said:
"Hell - now the Lord created the Sun and The Sun baked up those buried fossils nice and hot so we could dig em up and pump em up and get filled with energy! AND i'm talkin about fuel in your personal tank as well. I don't need some Libtard Scientist tellin me what puts lead in my pencil do I? And It is an affront to Lordy God my creator that we think we can alter his perfect master plan, SO we will just keep pumpin up that fossil stuff and makin more of that CO2 and makin more god lovin christian babies."
He concluded; "Now y'all go fire up the barby and get a good blast of CO2 off''n that crispy barbecue charcoal fat and then let nature take it's course and see if ole Senator James Inhofe from Oklahoma ain't right on the money - honey!
"That's how we do science in the Senate these days folks! -the old fashioned way! -Amen!"