Former current Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced today that he was "un-resigning", staying on, not leaving, 'here to stay' to assist the president in staying the course. President Bush, swamped with threats from Korea, Iran, Syria, Nancy Pelosi, the Klingons even attempted to convey to Rumsfeld the concept of "pink slip".
PHD Robert Gates, former president of Texas A&M University, former director of the CIA, former consultant to God Himself and now current nominee to replace Rumsfeld as Secretary of the Defense began posting his resume at Monster.com until President Bush told Gates "not to worry."
Donald Rumsfeld, former captain of the Parcheesi Club at Horborton High School in Omaha Nebraska back in 19 whatever issued the following statement this morning ..
"My fellow Americans. I've reconsidered my decision to resign as your Secretary and am ordering 150,000 more troops over to Iraq to assist in the carnage. We're staying that course even if I have to personally don a flight jacket and snap some PR photos on the deck of an air craft carrier."
President Bush, sources say attempted to via phone calls remind Rumsfeld that he didn't really resign but that he was FIRED, Rumsfeld replying, "No, I resigned now I'm un-resigning. Tell Mr Gates that his services are no longer required. Can we break out the nukes now?"
Inside sources say that Donald Rumsfeld picks up his final paycheck January 29th. Assuming he's not on an air craft carrier posing for "Mission Accomplished" PR photos.
