Written by Keith Shirey

Monday, 29 September 2014

image for Crazies To Take Over United States
PROFILE OF U.S. VOTER

Some relatively sane GOP House members are voluntarily exiting their seats in safe districts and will be replaced by other politicians who can only be described as "zany" ultra right-wingers.

As the New York Times summarized it: One nominee proposed reclassifying single parenthood as child abuse. Another suggested that four "blood moons" would herald "world-changing, shaking-type events" and said Islam was not a religion but a "complete geopolitical structure" unworthy of tax exemption. Still another labeled Hillary Rodham Clinton "the Antichrist."

In one case we are moving from a congressman, Rep. Paul Broun, who thinks evolution and the big bang theory are "lies straight from the pit of hell" to one, Jody Hice, who one who wants to put the Ten Commandments in public buildings, thinks the First Amendment doesn't apply to Muslims, and says of women in politics that "If the woman's within the authority of her husband, I don't see a problem."

Religious crackpots will be well represented in the House as Hice, a Southern Baptist minister will represent Georgia. Reverend Hice has also said gay people have a secret plot to "sodomize" kids.

Mark Walker, also Baptist pastor from North Carolina, who is an open racist, wrote on Facebook that he "had the privilege of spending an hour with an African-American male who grew up in the inner city," but that "most of these Americans have no concept of the pride and joy when we, as parents, invest in our children." He is also sure to win a seat.

Another sure GOP winner is Ryan Zinke of Montana. He has said that the United States is losing its focus on "the real enemy," Mrs. Clinton, whom he called the Antichrist.

Of the new Representatives political scientist, Peter Smart of U.S.C said, "They will join other GOP right-wing anarchists who paralyze the U.S. government in the House. But we have to realize that they simply mirror the voters who put them in office. Actually they probably are more moderate than the millions of American whack jobs who have 13th century minds who voted for them."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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