Written by Justine Satire

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

image for We Knew the World is Flat, But Why is it Wobbling? Ignorance in Science Committee Congressmen Accept Jon Stewart's Ice Bucket Challenge
US Congressman Steve Stockman on climate change: "Just have everyone suck an ice-cube"

Daily Show host Jon Stewart put the heat on US government climate change naysayer, Congressman Steve Stockman, in his latest ice bucket challenge. Stockman was particularly offended by Stewart's remarks that might have "put into question my wide expertise in the area of ignorance in science."

President Obama's top science adviser, physicist Dr. John Holdren, had trouble keeping members of the House Committee on Ignorance in Science, Space and Technology focused on the President's climate change plan last week. Committee members, highly qualified in ignorance in science, challenged Holdren to explain in words of one syllable or less why they should believe the world is round.

US Rep Larry Bucshon, of Indiana, who believes that the world is flat, pointed out that he was aware that he could read the scientific articles, if he could be bothered, but wouldn't believe the literature anyhow.

"Yes, I could read that, but I don't believe it. And as to so-called climate change, two of my largest campaign contributors, Murray Energy, and Peabody Energy, also contribute to global warming, and they don't read that stuff either."

Rep Steve Stockman, of Texas, one of the most highly qualified members of the House Committee on Ignorance in Science, Space and Technology asked how an ice cube in a glass of water could possibly raise world sea levels, and wanted to know why nobody has noticed that the Earth is wobbling.

Stockman asked, "How long will it take for the sea level to rise two feet? I mean, think about it, if your ice cube melts in your glass, it doesn't overflow. It's displacement. I mean, these are some of the things they're talking about that mathematically and scientifically don't make sense, even to experts like us who specialize in ignorance in science."

On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart was quick to pick up on this specialization, and challenged Stockman to an ice bucket challenge, with the words, "Are you f***ing kidding me? Do we have to get out the paper mache and the baking soda so you can make a f***ing volcano?"

Congressman Stockman took this comment as questioning whether he is as ignorant in science as he seems, and demanded a public apology for Stewart's on-air ridiculing of his qualifications in ignorance. "If I knew how to make a volcano out of paper mache, I wouldn't be on the House Committee on Ignorance in Science, Space and Technology," he said in a subsequent Fox News interview.

On the show, Stewart dumped a bucket of ice in a glass of water to demonstrate that when ice from glaciers and ice shelves on land eventually melt, sea levels will clearly rise. Congressman Larry Bucshon responded that Jon Stewart is not an expert in ignorance in science and that the hot air Stewart produces causes more global warming than all of Bucshon's campaign contributors' emissions combined.

Meanwhile, Congressman Stockman used House Committee on Ignorance reasoning to debunk Stewart's theory. "Even if it was true that there are that many ice cubes on land, none of them would need to end up in the ocean. There's 7 billion people on this flat Earth. Just have everyone suck an ice cube."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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