2,500-year old Utah petroglyphs say 'JFK: Bush Dunnit'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 13 March 2014

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Detail of the Grassy Knoll message

Utah - Newly decrypted rock carvings videoed by drone over the Southern Utah desert have shaken everything archeologists once took for granted regarding ancient predictions about the 1963 Dallas hit.

The petroglyphs as they are known are thought to have been created by the highly psychic casketfaker people, noted for their extraordinary sixth sense.

Among their previously decrypted spooky predictions is a Rocky Mountains carving showing a woman's stiletto heel footprints would be found on the moon's surface at least two years before the one-small-step-for-mankind fraud.

The casketfakers are believed to be distant cousins of the ancient basketmaker people who survived much of the early pre-Cambrian Cretinaceous era by copulating with the indigenous trugbraider nation, ancestors of today's American rednecks.

Today a number of their excavated artefucts are on the display at the Smithsonian including ancient lucky rabbits feet fashioned from amber, emerald four leaf clover amulets and all kinds of trashy astrological stuff.

Catch all the latest footage of the Utah carvings right here on this website.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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