Written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 1 March 2014

image for Reporting On Arrest of "El Chapo" Es Estupido

Andy Warhorse, President of the American Psychology Board, today praised American Journalists for helping to reduce tension among readership in U.S. newspapers.

"The almost complete omission of historical background or context to the reporting of news stories greatly reduces stress and anxiety." he stated. As a case study Warhorse analyzed the arrest by Mexican authorities of Joaquin (El Chapo) Guzman Loera, the leader of the Sinola Cartel for violence and drug trafficking.

No newspaper in the U.S., pointed out that Mr. Loera escaped from prison, the last time he was arrested with the help of Mexican authorities Dr. Warhorse stated.

"Nor did the U.S. press report that the authorities have been complicit in violence and drug trafficking with various drug cartels," he said.

"And, of course, the facts of Lorera's previous arrest, his first confession, which named the people in power he was paying off, and the threat he received from Mexican authorities to change it, which he did, is not mentioned in American newspapers," stated the APB's head.

Dr. Worhol stated that these "excellent omissions" prevented press readership from engaging in critical analysis, which is a stressor. "Thinking is hard work and often anxiety producing" he said.

Warhorse also praised the U.S. press for barely mentioning that two senior members in the Sinaloa cartel-one called El Mayo and another one called El Azul-will keep it functioning at the highest levels.

Finally, Dr. Warhorse commended the press for not raising the issue of whether the "War On Drugs" was a catastrophic failure in both Mexico and the United States. "It's cost hundreds of thousands of lives, millions in dollars, and the quality, quantity, and availability of drugs have not been effected," he said.

"To think about these issues would cause so much stress and anxiety that it would entail an even higher usage of anti-psychotic medications in the U.S. which is already huge. We all need to congratulate the U.S. press on its perpetuation of ignorance," concluded the head of the APB.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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