British Citizens Immigrating to Be Near London Bridge

Funny story written by Wumf

Friday, 21 February 2014

image for British Citizens Immigrating to Be Near London Bridge
Immigrants leaving cold English climate behind?

LAKE HAVASU, ARIZONA - Immigration officials are seeing a surge in citizenship applications from British citizens who want to relocate to Lake Havasu, Arizona.

"Most of the applications are from middle-aged or older Brits," explained Duncan Dillweiler, a spokesman for the USCIS, "who tell us they just want to move to Lake Havasu and live near the London Bridge to keep it company. These are people who were younger when the bridge was sold at auction, dismantled, and moved over to the U.S. back in 1969. They remember the bridge fondly and never quite recovered when it was carted out of England to America."

The London Bridge, which was built in 1831, began "falling down" and sinking into the Thames by 1962 because of increased traffic loads, so it was auctioned off in 1968.

Minnie Cowan, formerly of London, expressed her love for the bridge, "This old bridge was the one standing when my parents were young, fell in love and got married. This is the bridge that stood when London was bombed by the Nazis during WWII. In fact one of its columns still has the strafing scars from an enemy aircraft. My husband and I were married just about the time this bridge was auctioned off. At the time we were very sad to think it was leaving London and so we're so glad to be living near it again. We walk across it nearly everyday!"

Dillweiller remarked, "We are not sure if these British citizens are immigrating just because they are sentimental about the old London Bridge. The climate in Lake Havasu is pretty nice - on average there are 290 sunny days each year. We suspect they like the weather a lot, too!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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