NEA Sanctions "Dirty Harry Gun Training Program"

Funny story written by Wumf

Monday, 17 February 2014

image for NEA Sanctions "Dirty Harry Gun Training Program"
2nd grade teacher, Miss Patrick, at the gun range

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Education Association (NEA) announced today its decision to sanction "The Dirty Harry Gun Training Program" for its 1.6 million full-time member teachers across the U.S.

"Our teachers are doing a difficult job already, without having to worry about personal safety issues in America's schools," stated Pearl Kaufmann, spokeswoman for the NEA. "It is our position that arming teachers would be a deterrent for random violence on school campuses, and also add to the respect factor that is so lacking in today's society."

When asked why the "Dirty Hairy Gun Training Program" was chosen from so many different gun handling programs offered in the U.S., Kaufmann explained, "Have you seen that movie, 'Dirty Harry' with Clint Eastwood? That character didn't take no shit off anybody, pardon my French. That is the kind of 'tude' we need to develop in today's teachers if they are going to survive, particularly in inner city American schools!"

Gun sales in the U.S. are expected to rise by a significant amount, due to gun purchasing grants being offered to NEA members by the Association.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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