Stephen Hawking Helped Seattle Super Bowl Win

Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

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Mastermind Stephen Hawking talked to reporters this morning that he had been reading the news this morning and has admitted that he had helped the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl.

He claims that it was an accident on his part.

"Gentleman came to my house last week and wanted to talk about mathematics and he never mentioned football until he was ready to leave. He then asked about codes and came back in.

To shorten the shorten the story because I am only four-foot tall (He HEE Get it? Oh boy. I should have went into sit down comedy). The gentleman visiting me showed me a video of the player #18 calling out all these numbers and names, etc and asked me that, by simply watching what happened afterward, could I tell him what would happen.

It took me half an hour but I could tell him 95% of the time and he said he was amazed. He wanted my autograph for one of my books he had with him.

He used me."

Hawking stated that he still wasn't aware of anything wrong until he saw that number 18 again while flipping through news and history channels. He stopped and watched.

He wanted to apologize to Denver and their fans.

"But you are all higher than a kite right now so you wouldn't know about it. Ha Ha Ha! What a career I could have had in sit down comedy!"

$tar$ Reporting!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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