Horrible, Dreaded Disease Afflicts NBC Newsman On Show

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Sunday, 15 December 2013

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On Today's Meet The Press there was a discussion of why Pope Francis was chosen to be Time magazine's Man of the Year and appear on its cover. Host David Gregory stated that Time had also considered Edward Snowden, who worked for a company that was a private contractor for the National Security Agency. It's that Snowden who famously revealed many of the NSA's secret data collection efforts on U.S. and foreign citizens and their leaders.

As readers know, top NSA officials have been hauled before congressional investigating committees and have lied their asses off about the agency's activities which violate Constitutional guarantees of rights to privacy, rights against illegal searches and have, as well. put in jeopardy U.S. foreign policy.

At any rate, Meet the Press' panelist Steve Inskeep of NPR stated that Edward Snowden "did a necessary thing" but should "be could well be wrong and be prosecuted." In other words, Snowden acted on behalf of his country by stopping it from become a police-surviellance society and the reward for his patriotism should be prison! In Inskeep's mind Snowden did something indispensable for the welfare of his country but that action could be wrong!

My first thought was that reporter Inskeep is just one of thousands in the Corporate Media who have been neutered by their bosses. I simply imagined that he was one of this nice-looking guys with a TV future, who didn't want to offend anyone, and so walked both sides of the political street. "He wants to be another David Gregory," I mused. But further contemplation revealed that Mr. Inskeep's statement was so outrageously stupid, that there must be something seriously wrong with him. It turned out that I was right.

What I did was to solicit the aid of a friend of my son's who is a technical wizard. Acting at my request, he hacked into Inskeep's private information available on the internet and in his e-mails. (The wizard and I became a Junior NSA.) Mr. Inskeep's medical records revealed that the reporter has an extremely rare medical condition: He has a double digestive track connected to a double colon.

In other words he suffers from two sets of vapors displaced upward by the lower bowel that sometimes send conflicting messages to his cerebral cortex. This results in his being sometimes considerably confused. The poor man has no idea when he contradicts himself in the course of making just one statement.

He really deserves, not condemnation, but our sympathy. I urge him to get into surgery immediately. Being more rational, Inskeep in the future might be a TV success and get to interview Pope Francis. Of course, it might be noted, the Pontiff can be very persuasive. If Francis' views on meeting the needs of "the least amongst us," and the defects of the capitalist system, with its greed and arrogance, deeply affected Mr Inskeep he might not want to be a TV host like David Gregory, assuming that's Mr. Inskeep's ambition. He might want to do honest work.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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