October Election Disasters

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 4 October 2006

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Once anticipated as a pre-election October Surprise, the Republican Party is suffering a Katarina type revenge that history will title: The '06 Disaster; which is not to be confused with the San Francisco earthquake of '06. In a constant residential state of denial, the White House is denying documented facts in the new Bob Woodward book, State Of Denial; which is not to be confused with the global cooling book, State Of Fear; though fear is slowly creeping into this equation.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, then head of the National Security Council, has no memory of the warning given July 10, two months before 9/11, by CIA Director George J. Tennet and CIA counter terrorism chief T. ("... for $500 million, I'll bring Osama bin Laden's head back in a box...") Cofer Black. Rice vehemently denied the meeting happened. "It's incomprehensible that I would ignore and not follow up with that kind of information."

Well, yeah! But did she also miss "the head in box" promise?

In one of the other October disasters, alcoholics unanimous are smarting over former Congressman Mark Foley's announcement that he is an alcoholic and was admitting himself into a clinic. Drinkers, sober and otherwise, suggest that an extra glass of Glenlivet does not turn anyone into a pushy e-mailing predator of teenaged boys. And going cold turkey on Evian for the rest of one's life will not make the switch from predator.

Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was told of the e-mail situation a year ago, but claimed he had no recollection. D.C. fogs the memory. When nudged, he remembered the e-mails, but said the issue was settled. When nudged some more, he ordered a full investigation by the F. B. I., where it can be shelved for eternity. Go away already, I have a dozen crispy creams to eat.

Should a person with both short term and long term memory loss remain in a position of authority, particularly where the safety of teenagers is in question? Certainly, this falls under the umbrella of homeland security, and fighting them there so we are safe here.

Then there is the $100,000.00 contribution made by Congressman Foley to the House Republican Campaign Committee after the first set of e-mails surfaced. Did the party of family values sweep this issue under the carpet for $100,000.00? The contribution gave this story legs, and a shinny red Ferrari in fourth gear.

And it's only the first week of October. Katrina is one vengeful lady.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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