Written by Felix Minderbinder

Sunday, 1 October 2006

image for Barbara Bush and Barney End Support for George Bush and Elope
Barney leaves the White House, reportedly 'very happy' with Barbara

WASHINGTON (AP)--The crisis in the White House over the 'Iraq lies' claims of a Watergate journalist in his new book deepened greatly on Sunday when Barbara Bush said she "couldn't take it anymore" and eloped with Barney to an undisclosed hotel in New Jersey.

The book by veteran journalist Bob Woodward, one of the two reporters who broke the Watergate scandal, unveils how Bush has kept the US public in the dark about the huge costs of the Iraq war.

President Bush was reportedly ‘shattered' by the loss of his wife to the family dog and then surprisingly admitted that "everything in Woodward's book is absolutely true."

"Sure I've been misleading the American public over the worsening violence in Iraq. Sure my administration has even hidden crucial Iraq intelligence from our British allies," a visibly demoralized and depressed Bush blurted out at a White House news conference.

Woodward's television interview on his Iraq book was shown on the CBS show 60 Minutes, and caused an intense debate on Bush's conduct of the war, showing that his administration is in total crisis, and that they have deliberately covered up the seriousness of the violence in the war-torn country.

Woodward reveals that the Bush regime stamps the increasing attacks on US troops in Iraq ‘top secret' so the public doesn't know about them.

His book is titled State of Denial and it also reveals that Tony Blair had dated Barney ‘several times' and that Blair was irate at discovering that Washington was keeping key intelligence on Iraq from Britain, even classifying reports by British spies as off-limits.

Blair's office only issued a statement that "he misses Barney terribly and that he hopes Barney and Barbara find happiness together."

Woodward's book has found that attacks by freedom fighters on US troops are now running at a rate of about four per minute, and that top US Generals believe the situation will get even worse next year.

That allegation is particularly damaging to the administration, which has staked its reputation in mid-term Congressional elections on its ability to win the war. It also flies in the face of their claims that the situation in Iraq is improving.

The book reveals that Bush was determined to stick it out even if his only supporters are whittled down to his wife and the White House dog. 'I will not withdraw, even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me,' Bush was quoted as having told top Republicans at a White House meeting.

The book is being released at the absolutely worse time for the Republican party, as the USA winds up for the crucial Congressional elections that will see them kicked out for their incompetence in national security.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: White House, Iraq

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