Geraldo: nude picture not so much "At Large"

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 23 July 2013


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New Yawk, New Yawk --- In an attempt to boost the ratings of his Fox News show, Geraldo At Large, Gerardo Rivera posted a nearly nude photograph of himself--or, rather, his mirror image--on Twitter. Minutes later, it had been deleted, although it is unclear as to whether Rivera himself or Twitter deleted the offensive picture, and some mass media insiders contend that Fox News chief Roger Ailes himself ordered the sensationalistic journalist to remove the photograph as "unbecoming" to the network.

The photograph showed Rivera naked, but for a towel that he held, strategically draped about his bony hips, and the rose-colored glasses he was wearing as he made a spectacle of himself.

He looked emaciated, with skinny arms, those who saw the picture claim. "He looked like a 98-pound weakling," Marcie Scott said, "not the studly, macho man that he tries to come off as being on his show."

"It was pretty gross," Marcie's boyfriend, Ethan, said. "It made me want to puke."

"He looked like Gaddafi, after the Libyan leader had been killed," Shirley Beaver agreed.

Rivera appears to be standing in a bathroom. He has a cellular telephone in hand, and he seems to be taking a picture of himself with the telephone's built-in camera. The image is fuzzy and surreal.

The controversial "journalist" said he posted the dirty picture "because I'm a dirty old man." He also wants "America and the world" to see what a "sexy man" looks like at seventy. "Hell, I could be fifty," he bragged.

"At first," Charlene O'Hara said, "I thought the towel was an adult diaper and he was posting an ad for Depends."

Bill O'Reilly, who frequently invites Rivera to guest on The O'Reilly Factor says that, in his opinion, Rivera posted the risque picture for the same reason he does everything: "to generate publicity."

If so, Rivera's ploy doesn't seem to have been all that effective. At last count, according to Rivera, his post had garnered only three comments, all against his having posted the photograph. (Twitter claims that the picture received zero comments.)

Pretty much everyone agrees on two things, though: The host of Geraldo At Large doesn't appear to be very "large," nor does he seem to be all that bright.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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