Flushing Meadows, NY - The existence of a secret court set up to rubber stamp stuff for the Establishment has been outed after a mixed doubles judge revealed that Hawk Eye - the electronic ball tracking system - may have been hacked under the Foreign Interference Surveillance Act {FISA] in covert ops by the Nebraska Sasquatch Association [NSA].
Yeah, f**k knows why except that this year's US Men's Open has upped the prize money to a staggering two million for the Grand Slam win and the knives are out for all the top seeds.
"Someone is watching these non-US nationals who regularly clean up on American soil," a cheerleader from the All American Tennis Club commented, "Federer, Murray, Djokovic, Nadal - they've all had line calls that looked pretty suspicious of covert airbrushing of Hawk Eye's wizardry."
The situation is further complicated by remarks made today by the
outgoing chief judge of the US District Court in Washington about perceptions regarding a secret court.
Royce Lamberth was chief judge of the FISA Court from 1995 to 2002 and has never once in his entire life had complimentary tickets to the Flushing Meadows grand finale - including the 2012 when dour Scotsman Andy Murray won the coveted title.
So that should just about nail it, eh?
