'Nadal needs to grow a pear' say Wimbledon soft fruit experts

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 24 June 2013

image for 'Nadal needs to grow a pear' say Wimbledon soft fruit experts
Rafa previously at top of his game on clay at Roland Garros

London SW19 - It was hardly all-strawberries-and-cream at Wimbledon today as world fifth seed Rafael Nadal crashed out of the Men's Singles First Round to world number 135 Steve Darcis in a 7-6 (7-4) 7-6 (10-8) 6-4 shocker.

Bewildered tennis enthusiasts who'd paid upwards of five hundred squid to witness Nadal's straight sets annihilation were close to demanding their money back as Belgian player Darcis wiped the smile off the Spanish champ's face.

"Rafa's shagged out," a SW19 groundsman said, "even the ball boys reckon him limp as a rag from the first moment he sashayed onto Center Court today."

Nadal recently won a record-breaking eighth French Open Grand Slam on clay at Roland Garros and may have been fazed by Wimbledon's turf court in the inhospitable outdoor chill.

Tonight his coach Manuel Horoba confirmed Rafa has now left the tournament and is enroute to somewhere warm to lick his wounded pride.

Roger Federer remains 7/4FAV to retain the championship trophy followed by Andy Murray at 4/1.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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