Written by Ducksley

Monday, 15 April 2013

image for Cheaper Natural Gas Means Fewer People Must Rely on Flatulence for Home Heating
Winnie Lee Festite Enjoys Her Gas-Heated Home

America's new surplus of natural gas is not only putting money into the pockets of energy companies, but is also providing a break for renters and homeowners, says one expert.

"Before the price drop, many Americans couldn't afford natural gas service and had to rely solely on their own flatulence to heat their homes, but that has changed," says energy analyst Blanche Holmole. "Now that people can afford to pay the gas company, they can cut back on eating cabbage and beans all the time."

Homeowner Winnie Lee Festite says it's a welcome change. "Our home smells so nice now. Before, the house was warm but it smelled like a port-a-potty at a chili cook-off."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Farting, Energy

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