Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 7 April 2013

image for Sarah Palin Reveals 3 Things That She Will Not Discuss
Close friends of Sarah Palin say that they are worried about her state of depression. (Photo by Piper Palin).

WASILLA, Alaska - Todd Palin has stated that his wife Sarah has been so depressed lately that she hasn't even shot a moose, caribou, or reindeer in over four days.

Todd said that it is unlike his manly wife not to go out and get in a state-owned helicopter and shoot some unsuspecting Alaskan four-legged creature with her high-powered telescopic rifle.

He recently remarked to Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti that the last time Rah Rah as he calls his wife, was so down on herself was the night back in November of 2008, when she and Senator McCain both got their GOP butts kicked by Barack Obama.

Todd told Confetti that even his salmon fishing guide and girlfriend Nanicka Zapalicka has remarked that she feels sorry for Old Snowballs, as she refers to Sarah.

When "Snowflake" Palin was contacted by Confetti and asked to comment on her emotional, mental, physical, and 49th state she refused.

Mrs. Palin informed him that there are three things that she does not talk about. One is her bad word spewing trio of daughters, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

Two is store-bought food. And three is those gosh darn damn divorce rumors.

Sarah was asked to comment on the relationship between her husband and the stunningly attractive Nanicka Zapalicka.

She rolled her eyes and replied "Ya know, Todd and Nanny are just real close fishing buddies and I am not the least bit jealous."

Palin paused and then continued "Well maybe just a teensy bit but then gosh darnit, I know that I can't possibly compete with Nanny's exquisite beauty, her endearing charm, her sensuous sexuality, and her sheer femininity."

In Other News. Katy Perry told The Gossipette Gazette that ex-boyfriend John Mayer is nothing but a two-legged skunk and she hopes that his p*cker gets caught in his zipper.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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