L.A. Cops Riot and Torch Stations after Fellow Officer doesn't Beat Black Man Pulled Over for Speeding

Funny story written by Asheville Jack

Monday, 7 January 2013

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Los Angles - LA citizens have detained 36 police officers believed to be involved in what are being termed a 'cop riot" caused by the lack of a proper beating not given to a Black man pulled over for a traffic violation.

City authorities moved on Tuesday to calm tensions among the police department and are urging the department not to continue speculation over why the man was not viciously attacked.

Citizens said the last officer detained was at 4.30am yesterday but that they might be detaining several more officers based on information obtained from Twitter and Facebook.

"We will be detaining all those involved. We will not compromise with anyone who sets fire to their precinct headquarters or creates unrest," said citizen Walter Newton at a media conference at the downtown library today.

Today, L.A. police chief Dick Whitinghood announced that the officer who failed to administer the beating had previous instances where he also neglected to beat suspects and would launch an immediate investigations into the reasons why.

Whitinghood said that not beating Black citizens would set a bad precedent for the department and would lead to a decrease in morale.

Police also seem to be using social media to coordinate their riots and escalate tensions. "One officer said via Twitter that the city might become calm, and the police department could lose face if they stopped beating Black people for whatever reason they could come up with whenever they wanted. "We are also disseminating information on Facebook to our fellow officers, and as usual we do not have anything to hide," said Whitinghood.

"Today we hope to have the situation under control. I have monitored the situation and we hope to resume the beatings county wide soon. "This non-beating was an isolated case. We hope everything returns to normal and the police stations reopen soon," Whitinghood said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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