Written by Joe Leff

Monday, 19 November 2012

The number of police officers waiting to be examined in doctors' surgeries is set to reach at least 44,000 from 20 forces.

During recent years there has been a massive increase in rates of prostate problems in police forces throughout the U.K.

Health authorities have been urging police officers to get regular check-ups. This requires the doctor to carry out a 'digital examination via the rectum' for officers in the South, and a 'finger up the arse' for Northern coppers.

This procedure, in the past, has caused some problems, and several doctors have been charged with 'unlawful entry' , or 'common assault'.

In a Mansfield medical centre, one policeman (who had to answer an emergency call) rushed from the surgery with the doctor still attached. The doctor was later charged with 'indecent assault in a police car'. But his defence lawyer said he was only 'thumbing a lift'.

However, most police forces have been running internal training sessions, so that officers will be more open to the benefits of these health check procedures.

And Chief Inspectors are now giving the scheme the 'thumbs up'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, prostate

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