Similar to the swallows flying back to Capistrano in the spring, or the seasonal animal migration across the Masai Mara in Kenya in the fall, like a stiff hangover following a night's drunk, (Mel Gibson has volunteered to address any Jewish group anywhere about that experience, following another apology) George Bush is returning to Crawford, Texas for his summer vacation; not to be confused with his winter, spring or fall vacation; and Cindy Sheehan is right back there with the President helping with his R & R. Unlike the old forty's film, The Man Who Came To Dinner, Ms. Sheehan purchased five acres of land down the road from the President's ranch, and plans to stay, and stay, and stay: summertime, wintertime, evening time, and all the time; but unlike the song, the living is not going to be easy for Mr. Bush.
Habitat, working with the aid of former Democratic President Jimmy Carter and homemaker Martha Stewart and recently fired C.I.A. chief Porter Goss, will help erect an air conditioned home, totally powered by solar energy, (so the government can not shut off electricity) including a mile deep well for spring water, helicopter pad, shed to house air drones, (used to monitor all the presidents movements and travels) and a stable for a thousand donkeys to graze on neighboring property, rendering a continuous serenade for the President, all built within a forty-eight hour time period. It is rumored that former Ambassador Joseph Wilson will be rolling up his shirt sleeves and his wife Valerie Plame will also help with this building project. The entire compound will have a rocket proof shield and include a underground radar facility.
"If Sheehan is back, I'm taking Air Force One and flying to the Barbados, spending four weeks with Tony Blair."
"The Barbados aren't an option, sir," said Michael Hayden, new head of the C.I.A. "Mr. Blair canceled his vacation this morning. Apparently he's in a tiff because of the kiss you gave Joe Lieberman."
"That was just a hug. It wasn't like Putin's belly kiss on that kid."
"He always felt he was your significant other. The Barbados are out. Mel Gibson will fly here and give you his speech and an apology and show some films. He's booked to address the Habitat group down the road anyway, and the Crawford gas station across town, or you could have a face to face with Cindy Sheehan and answer why we went to war in Iraq?"
"I'll take Mel Gibson."
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