Cheney Accidentally Shoots Leak Case Lawyer

Funny story written by Select Distinct

Sunday, 12 February 2006

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WASHINGTON -- Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a member of his defense team during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday.

Harry Rattington, 78, was "felling well and aware" after the Vice President unloaded a round of bullets on Rattington on Saturday at the Arms Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Arms.

Arms said Mr. Cheney overreacted to his failure to shoot an escaping quail, flying into a rage that led to the injure of Rattington. Cheney reacted emotionally to what had happened allegedly crying out "Rat! Rat!" Arms said. "Rat" is Mr. Cheney's nickname for the attorney. Rattington was taken to Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital by ambulance.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Rattington, the lawyer from Austin, Texas, his wife, and journalist Robert Novak at the hospital on Sunday afternoon.

In another twist to the story it has been reported that Rattington met with special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald on Friday, and recorded an interview for Pacifica Radio's "Democracy Now!", from which he went directly to Texas for a hunting trip with the Vice President. The program is scheduled to air on Monday.

According to court documents disclosed last week, Cheney's former chief of staff told a federal grand jury that Cheney revealed the contents of a classified National Intelligence Estimate in July 2003. The special counsel says Cheney authorized his chief of staff to leak classified information.

Cheney is also now being investigated for attempts to accidentally shoot Martin Luther King's widow Corretta Scott King in the 1970s. The 'Ten Commandments' on Vietnam were found among her husband's notes after he was assassinated. They are:

'Thou shalt not believe in a military victory.'

'Thou shalt not believe in a political victory.'

'Thou shalt not believe that they (the Vietnamese) love us.'

'Thou shalt not believe that the Saigon government has the support of the people.'

'Thou shalt not believe that the majority of the South Vietnamese look upon the Viet Cong as terrorists.'

'Thou shalt not believe the figures of killed enemies or killed Americans.'

'Thou shalt not believe that the generals know best.'

'Thou shalt not believe that the enemy's victory means Communism.'

'Thou shalt not believe that the world supports the United States.'

'Thou shalt not kill.'"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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