Hot Air Balloonist's Dream Is To Fly To The Moon In His Balloon

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 28 December 2012

image for Hot Air Balloonist's Dream Is To Fly To The Moon In His Balloon
Buttonbocker has nicknamed his hot air balloon Ann, after GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

POCATELLO, Idaho - Dontavian "Buzz" Buttonbocker, 53, says that ever since he was in grade school he has always been fascinated with hot air balloons.

The Pocatello native actually built his first hot air balloon at the age of 9. He said that it was constructed out of discarded bicycle tire tubes, Popsicle sticks, sandwich bags, and duct tape.

Buttonbocker stated that on his very first flight he went up to a height of 19 feet and flew a distance of 27 feet.

He pointed out that he could have probably gone farther except for the fact that he hit a satellite dish on top of a two story house.

After recovering from his injuries Buzz built a second balloon and this one managed to fly a distance of 49 feet until it ran into a flock of vultures who bit the balloon all to hell.

At the age of 27, Buttonbocker entered the famed Idaho Hot Air Balloon Races in Pocatello. He won the race which covered a distance of 2,489 miles from Pocatello, Idaho to Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

Buttonbocker recently spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine and told him that his dream for 2013, is to build a hot air balloon which he can fly all the way to the moon and back.

SIDENOTE: Buzz says that perhaps the biggest obstacle to the trip is to figure out a way to be able to carry enough water, beef jerky, and M&Ms for the 477,708 mile round trip.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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