DENVER, Colorado Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he would outsource his spot at the podium in the first presidential debate.
In a cost-cutting move, Romney will be represented by Mahatma Martin of the Mumbai, Indiana call center.
The debate panel has been instructed to phone in their questions via an 800 number. The panel has been assured that their calls are important to Romney and the wait time will be minimal.
"It's a lot cheaper to pay someone else to do this. It's not like you have to be well-versed in this. It's just a debate," said Romney spokesman Richard Neocon. "If Martin does not do a good job, Mitt will fire him. He likes to do that. In that case, we'll just collect our profit and shut the whole thing down and replace him with an empty chair in the next debate. It worked well for Clint Eastwood."