Speech from Movie, "The American President (1985)," Rewritten for 2012 Presidentail Debates

Funny story written by Dougiedo Franksen'stein

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Washington, D.C - For the last several years, Governor Romney has been suggesting that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character. Well having served in the position for over three years, our President will tell you without hesitation: Being President and Commander and Chief of this country "is" entirely about character.

We've watched and studied the Governor's presidential campaign since and before 2008, and we've been operating under the assumption that the reason the Governor devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain, was that he simply didn't get it. Well, we were wrong.

The Governor's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. His problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, we promise you, the Governor is not the least bit interested in solving it.

He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character.

Then the Governor and a significant portion of his supporter's scream about patriotism, once again attacking the President with allegations that he's foreign born and a Muslim, and posting pictures of our murdered ambassador on the internet. Some supporters have gone as far as to say that the President and Commander and Chief might be a traitor.

Finally, the Governor promises that he'll always speak for all of the American people, and that he'll do everything in his power to stop the partisan gridlock in Washington and to re-unite the country; only to then go behind closed doors and arrogantly, obnoxiously, insultingly and in-eloquently tell a group of $50k-a-plate donators, that he's written-off and will not pursue 47% of the American vote.

We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character and American values, fine, show up for the debates, the President will be there. This is a time for serious people, and the Governor's fifteen minutes are up. His name is Barack Obama, and he "is" the President of the United States of America.

The above is taken and revised from the movie, "The American President - 1985"; for the 2012 Presidential Race & Debates.

2012 Debate Schedule:

October 3, Domestic Policy Debate, University of Denver, Denver Colorado
October 11 Vice Presidential Debate, Centre College, Danville, Kentucky
October 16 Foreign and Domestic Issues, Hofstra University, Hempstead, NY
October 22 Foreign Policy, Lynn University, Boca Raton, Florida

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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