Phillie flight attendant not an 'Annie Oakley'

Monday, 24 September 2012

image for Phillie flight attendant not an 'Annie Oakley'
She's so em-bare-assed by her gun faux pas.

CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE AIRPORT, PA (ABSNN) - An unnamed Philadephia flight attendant was arrested for disorderly conduct after a handgun in her carry on luggage discharged during a search by the TSA. The weapon fired as the flight attendant showed her gun handling skills while handing it over to the TSA. No one was injured.

However, sixteen elderly, Dutch tourists shat their Depends undergrmets.

"Getting the old Krauts showered and their diapers changed; then serving them and everyone else five or six stiff (but free) alcoholic beverages to serve their shattered nerves, took time (including the pilots and the cops???).

"Next, it took hours to get all the flummoxed passengers back on the plane," said a spokesperson for Republic Airlines, the carrier for whom the stewardess, ah, flight attendant worked.

The plane was nine hours late taking off from the field.

It turned out the flight attendant had a legal Concealed Weapon Permit. She claimed she "forgot the weapon was in her carry on bag, as (she) never unpacked it, (ever???)."

"She was not charged with bringing a weapon into the airport. She was arrested for being a piss poor shot," said the TSA Guard.

"One thing is for damned certain-sure; she ain't no Annie Oakley," said the TSA Security Screener who first noticed the weapon in her carry on bag.

The unnamed woman, stew, flight attendant (WTF ever), posted bond and was released from custody--with her reloaded handgun in her possession.

"From now on I'll just carry it in my purse," she said as she left the cop shop.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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