(ABSNN) GLOSSOLALIA, ALASKA-Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who resigned due to forgetting she had a real job, and deciding instead to hold tea parties for a living, is no longer able to have sex, aides say.

"Her inability to get laid is causing Govenor Palin to become frustrated to all get out and, unfortunately, she is taking out those frustrations on the man she would most love to fuck, President Barack Obama," said her closest aide who refused to be named.

"The reason Palin cannot have sex is that she has inserted her head up her ass and thus has blocked her vagina with her chest and neck," said Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. noted sex writer.

"With her head up her ass, she cannot have vaginal sex, and she cannot have anal sex, and of course, she cannot have oral sex," Dubois opined. "Of course she is frustrated."

Asked if he knew for certain that Palin wanted to have sex with President Obama, Dubois said, "Why hell yes she does! I want to fuck Obama, why wouldn't she?"

You just cannot argue with such logic.