Bush Confused About Safe Sex

Written by Bob Muppet

Wednesday, 24 September 2003

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The White House was working hard to cover up President Bush's latest diplomatic blunder.

It appears that Queen Elizabeth II had caught George .W and the First Lady, having what appeared to be sex, in the security chambers of Buckingham Palace.

‘I just couldn't control my primitive urges' explained the President.

‘When I clapped eyes on the big steel bolts and brass knobs of the Chubb Superior safe I was uncontrollable!'

‘My pappy told me that I should always practice safe sex and I guess that's all I was doing' he stated.

‘I've had safe sex in nearly every bank in the States and nobody has complained yet'

‘The limey broad went ape---I just can't figure why!'

‘They say the Brits are prudes, but I thought that the Aristos were up for rumpy pumpy on a 24/7 basis.'

When it was suggested that safe sex was about taking precautions and not about having sex on safes, the President became agitated.

‘My pappy taught me everything there is to know about the birds and the bees'-

‘My pappy was a Korean War Veteran -do you think he would lie to me?'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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