Bathsalts Cause Zombie Outbreak

Written by T'mcouse

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Recently use of bathsalts for a drug like high have been increasing around the globe, from U.S. senator Michel Faxxon to British domestic pet dog Fluffy. According to reports users are stripping themselves naked, prancing around singing "I will survive" for twenty minutes, and then going on a rampage for consumption of human flesh. Mary Helliona 25, from Dallas Texas had this to say about her 32 year old husband Kelly Monroe, a recent victim of the aforementioned drug.

"Kelly was perfectly fine this morning, he even felt like sharing a bath with me! It had been five years know...and while I was getting ready I left him for only a moment. Suddenly he ran through the house singing 70's songs. I tried to do something but then he tried to bite me!"

Mr. Monroe was captured outside of town by forty miles and taken to the nearest testing site, Area 51. After being shot twice in the right arm and three times in the left leg I managed to get a statement from one of the researchers.

"Apparently, a certain ingredient is shutting down the logical part of the mind and only sustaining the primal parts along side those used to memorize popular 70's music."

More and more cases are being reported by the day and the effects seem to be unrecoverable. The government seem to be taking steps to prevent the outbreak from going out of control, but for how long no one can say.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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